From every indication, director/sick fuck Rob Black seems to
have successfully parlayed his
attention-deficit-disorder/class-clown mentality into
top-notch hardcore smut status, with conflagrationary sex and
shots of pussy so close-up, you can almost smell the yeast.
When not huffing Whip-Its or sharing favorite shit photos,
Black and cohort Andy The Load are procurers of gawdknowswhat
in a saturnalian type of pawn shop, a la Clerks. A place
where you can buy into the sick fantasy of your choice.
Load, like the legendary Jack returning from the sale of the
family cow with a few worthless beans in his sweaty palms,
appears with what was supposed to be an African grey parrot
in a crate. He's fucked up the order, causing Black to shriek
like a rutting mouse, because it's instead Phil the Bird
(filthy bird, geddit?), an ornery midget in a miniscule Big
Bird outfit, played by Danny P. in a nom-worthy Best Non-Sex
Role. Danny looks (and sounds) like a Hieronymous Bosch
rendition of Joe Pesci as a chicken. The comedy bits played
out between the three are interspersed throughout the video,
and it's hilarious. For those weary of "Beavis and Butthead"
reruns, this is the answer. Total retard humor at its finest.
The viewer is suddenly thrust scrotum-first into a
mondo-beserker "Let's make A Deal" dimension. Some hayseed is
the lucky winner of freckle-faced anal tart Liza Harper and
platinum-haired Sunny. It'll take you a few minutes to
realize that it's Tom Byron, complete with Gomer Pyle "hyuck
hyuck" hick voice and thick, coke-bottle glasses held
together with tape. Harper, with that legendary colon capable
of accommodating a fleet of howtizers, delightfully pulls her
cheeks open wide for Byron to sink his Bismarck into. Witness
Harper's prolapsed rectum in all its cavernous, glistening
glory. Likewise her ingenious talent for blowing loogie
bubbles by opening and snapping that sphincter shut, while
Sunny taps out a beat on Harper's clit 'fore Byron spews his
goo into their open gullets. 'Tis nothing short of sublime.
Pre-nom for Best Group Sex Scene (probably the funniest of
the year, as well).
Sadistic schnitzel sucker Hayley-Jane begins the next scene
by whipping two trussed-up fellas, before swallowing their
shvantzes and gutteralizing "I speet on your deeks, ja?" Both
shove their bratwursts simultaneously up the Nazi
interrogator's cunt and crapper in a reverse, bouncing
cowgirl d.p. which turns into a harrowing double anal! Talk
about pressing the perineum! Yowza! Another Best Group Sex
Scene prenom!
Construction workers Jeanna Fine and P.J. Sparxx gang up on
college girl Tricia Devereaux, threatening to shove a
multitude of things up Devereaux's cooch, be they fingers or
available power tools. They begin with a quart of
Pennsylvania crude. Fine is the indisputable master of
abusive verbiage, with all the tenderness of a German drill
instructor. She pours beer down her front, while Sparxx drags
Devereaux by her hair, having her to lick the frothy brew
from Fine's pussy. A femme dogpile results as Sparxx and Fine
d.p. the livin' shit outta Devereaux with two thick rubber
dicks, then douse her in a few gallons of faux-cum. Oy vey,
can it be a Best All-Girl Sex Scene pre-nom?
Back in the pawn shop, Andy's watching a movie by some
"sick-fuck" named Rob Black. "What? he sucks!" screams Black
, before the midget jumps across a counter to cold-cock Black
with a rubber dong. That sends Black into a
violet-hued world straight outta Beetlejuice, where he stars
as a sinister underworld demon, replete with long, black Lee
Press-On Nails. He plunges his sausage into demonic accolyte
Devereaux's holes, spewing into her gaping hole as she
happily gulps his seed.
No need for ginkoba or caffeine, folks. This tape'll jerk
you into a sonic state of alertness with each successive
slattern's semen-slathered slit. Let us now bestow pre-nom
honors for Best Sex Comedy. You're a funny fuckin' guy, Rob.
Review from AVN
